Design, citizenship and the city
11 October 2008
Likely to say: “5 pages for £99! Choose from over 10,000 templates! Free domain name!”
Previous Offences: Barrow boy. Home improvements sales. Pyramid schemes. Pirate DVDs. No tax disc.
Will ruin your project by: spending longer closing the sale than working on the site.
His father, his father’s father and his father’s father’s father sold fruit and veg by the pound at the market. Now he sells web design as if it were fruit and veg by the pound at the market. Despite working far longer hours than his costermongering ancestors, his success in web design is constantly thwarted by his £98-for-ten-pages competitors and his inability to offer a service more sophisticated than pasting text between Word and FrontPage.
His skills are as blunt as his operation is sharp, but he’s no slouch. Your site is delivered by email the following morning, along with a receipt for his “design consultancy”, a list of his astronomical hosting prices and information about his “premium uploading service”.
Of course, you can’t fool people twice, so the next time you shop for web design your first port of call is eBay. There, you pick up a CD-ROM of 10,000 WEB DESIGN TEMPLATES!!! RESELLER RIGHTS!!! for only 99p (plus £9.99 postage) from barrowboy(694).
11 October 2008
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